h1

On Point, women in pursuit of men less successful than them

12/28/2007

On Point, a public radio program I heard, about a week ago, was discussing the topic of how some successful women can’t form lasting relationships with men of a lower economic and social status than them. The two women interviewed for their personal experiences as successful women who’ve dated “down,” also spoke of dating at “their level,” and their difficulties with men even at that standing.” While I don’t have a ready explanation for that, the insecurity around successful women that the men in the lower standing category have, does have a reasonable, I believe, explanation.
I thought, for a moment, about whether I would feel insecure around successful women, and it took me little time to admit to myself that I would. The reason, and this is something I believe affects a lot of male thinking, is that I believe men tend to value themselves in a somewhat different way than women. My theory is this: Men value themselves by accomplishments, with tangible proofs thereof. That means if we claim to be highly intelligent, we expect that you, a successful woman, will want to see advanced degrees and papers we authored published in respected journals of science, etc. Also, if we claim to be athletic, you’d want not only see us in action, but our trophies for games won and played well. Those things we see as proof of our value. For women, qualities such as charm, character, sense of humor, etc., take on a higher level of importance earlier than they do for men.
It’s probably true of many misperceptions about other persons that it’s assumed they will think as we do. Believing this, it’s not hard to understand why some men can’t cope with more successful women, as they might find it very difficult to believe women who have options would go for the lower class men, let alone stay with them.
Alternatively, some men might just only like weak women. Be that as it may, I do think my theory, original or not, has merit; is at least plausible.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: