My demonstrable stupidity

CSI and the smooth criminal?
So if Annie has been hit by, been struck by the smooth criminal, do you think the lack of markings will make much difference?

This should rate high in the stupidmeter.

They, they?
Is there just one they, or are there many theys. Is there peace or strife among the theys. Are they coming to get me, or are they, or they, coming to get me? Which of they are coming to take me away? They say I am paranoid, but they say I can’t trust they?

And what about them? I don’t trust them, or them or even them.

What to do. What to do.

If they were a couple?
if John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt and Rumpelstiltskin were a couple and had a child (as in adopted one) what name should they give said child?

I’m scared that I may be developing?
a conscience. How can I beat it back and live more in the comforting atmosphere of apathy?

Mmm! Sweet lack of concern!

How is this for a bold statement?
Chuck Norris is not that bad of an actor.

Who is Jack?
bean stalked by?

Would it be punishing?
to teach people to how to recognize a pun. Kant I lever it alone?

Wouldn’t it be funny if there were twin adult film stars named?
Almond Joy ands Mounds?

Would you take up arms and go into battle to die?
fer shizzle?

I don’t know who that is, but I would! Fer Shizzle, and the glory of someplace or another!

Is it fair to say this of poisoned drinks?
They are partly gulpable of murder.

Can you milk a?

How did you cope when you learned someone you care about?
Thinks SNL is still largely funny. Did you have to have an intervention done? The existence of this disease just breaks my heart. Sniff 😥

Are you Yahoo! serious?
If so, for the love of God, make more movies! We all support you.

Nobody knows the tr-?
-ibble I’ve seen, nobody knows but Jesus. But he won’t take the tribble away. Will you? Could you get this damn, dirty ape too?


Suppose you really were an?
s.o.b., what dog breed would you want to belong to?

Which is harder?
Diamonds formed as best as possible for strength in earth?

Jolly Rancher candy?

What do you think of the vegetarian chef who liked to fon-?
due women? Would you say he is PEARverted?

*Big cheesey grin*

For just pennies a day?
you, too, can help buy the JG Wentworth spokesman new suits. Won’t you help?


Would you? Could you marry me . . .?

with green eggs and ham?


If every woman was Cleopatra in a past life, then wouldn’t this be funny?

Half of all men were Marc Antony, and the other half were Octavian.


Will you let me into your pant-?

I need some sugar.

Will you let me into your pant-?



Do you love him, too?

Every time he makes me laugh I love Hugh Mor more and more. I love you, Hugh Mor! Do you love him, too?

Confess: Con Fess?
Would be a clever name for a Fess Parker convention. Agree?


Confess: your thoughts about race?
Admit that Race Bannon can kick your ass. Will you?


How did Davey Crockett do this?
Kill a bar when he was only 3? I thought he died before Prohibition. I’m so confused.

Is it true that nobody does it like Sara Lee?
Is she single?

How now, Brown Cow?
Since people ask it that so much, wouldn’t Brown Cow be a great name for a wiseman/guru?


Shiny, happy people?
if I suffer eye damage because of their shinyness, can I sue?


When I ask “how big are your cocks”?

Why do chicken ranchers get upset at me?? I just don’t get it.

When being the wind beneath someone’s wings?
might it not be best to be a gas bag?

How do I know you exist?
If there aren’t large sackfuls of fan mail and a newspaper editiorials attesting to your existence as proof?

Isn’t this a brilliant idea?
In families with dinner bells, whenever they have potatos, fries, etc., one of their kids should say “It’s Ore-Ida ’cause I’m saved by the bell,” then a talking Zack doll should make some clever remark.

Incredible, eh?



  1. i am concerned you are out of prozac… 😛

  2. Very interesting introspective musings here…

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